Descent into Darkness

Riding that high was fun while it lasted
but the crash that came afterward
destroyed me
devastated me
devolved everything I had worked for:
   sense of self-worth
   confidence of character
   and of course, my dignity
Everything was ruined

I told myself, no regrets. Whatever happens will be for a reason
But what was the reason of my demise?

I'm loitering in the past where I've got no business being
thinking of every way I could've avoided this doom
I'm back to where I started
and I don't know if I can come back stronger this time
I feel hopeless
lost
dead

Reflecting pool

Like bleach
Cleaning away the dirt
but leaving nothing
because it's too strong
I cleanse my mind

I've moved on from toxicity before
But you're not toxic
You're just what I needed
Yet somehow you poisoned me anyway

I drown the memories
that keep floating to the surface
of my conscious mind
Drown them until their lungs fill
And they choke until they fade

Meanwhile I try to stay alive
To keep my head above the surface
But I too, am drowning

Losses

We were victims of bad timing
and worse circumstance.

It started with a high;

then came the crash and burn.

Chaos in my mind,

indifference in your heart,

a mistake avoided

before it blew up

and killed us both.

Side effects

I tell myself that it's just the caffeine
making my heart race
this late at night.
But something else is on my mind.
Something else is affecting my heart.
Affecting my brain,
chemicals running everywhere.
Chemicals I can't explain.
Moving around my body,
keeping me awake
and telling me how to feel.
Giving me irrational thoughts
and encouraging bad ideas.
The coffee wouldn't do this, right?
I can't sleep so I lie hopelessly awake,
watching the clock slowly move
towards the new day,
knowing full well that I have to be up
in a few short hours.
The only sounds are the beats of my heart
and the click of the keys.
Maybe drinking coffee
after eight in the evening
wasn't such a great idea.

Shooting Star

Stare into the abyss that is your soul
I imagine myself falling in
Sucked into the darkness
Floating through space
In another realm
Away from this world

There is so much light here

You are not who you think you are
But so much better
A beautiful aura
You capture minds with your words
And hearts with your doings
And me with your eyes

I cannot look away

How sad is it to think
That you will never know your worth
In this lifetime
For as long as I live
I will never tell you
I wish I could

Oh, how I wish I could...